Join us for a free night of music, magic and optimism

From your pocket, to your town, to the planet, in 2015 life got tougher. You may be feeling a little bruised, maybe a little hopeless, but fear not, Those Unfortunates have a plan to make your 2016 much better.

From pub closures and rising rents to homogenous high streets and extreme weather, there’ve been a lot of debits on our lives. But for every debit, there’s a credit owing. On Saturday 23rd January, Those Unfortunates invite you to a night of music, magic and making 2016 good.

JOIN US ON 23RD JANUARY FROM 7PM AT:

PAPER DRESS VINTAGE, 352 MARE STREET E8 1HR (map)

GET IN for FREE!

DISCOVER 10 practical ways you can make the city fairer and more fun in 2016 and SHARE your own ideas with us

MARVEL at the mirthful magic of Ian Saville, the Socialist Magician.

LOSE YOURSELF to the fuzzy dream-pop of Firestations

DANCE AROUND to the impish, punkoid, shoe shuffling sounds of hosts, Those Unfortunates

LEAVE ready for a happier, more hopeful 2016

So what’s all this ‘Own Double Entry’ about then? It sounds a bit… well, mucky?

In BS Johnson’s novel “Christie Malry’s Own Double Entry”, the titular accounts clerk applies the principles of double entry book-keeping to what he sees as the world’s injustices.

In his ledger, he records each offence (or debit) against his freedoms and happiness, and then takes an action (or credit) of equivalent value to restore the equilibrium.

This is our double entry, and it is yours – time to balance the books, remittance due in full.

Join us at the Big Pink Cake Christmas All-Dayer

The lights are up, the ads are on the telly and the department store santas are practicing their ho-ho-hos. Like it or not, that familiar corporate juggernaut is rolling inexorably towards us all, with its Big Pink Cakecargo of schmaltz and saccharine.

But before we’re crushed beneath its wheels, come and join us for a bit of actual festive FUN at Big Pink Cake’s Christmas Party All-Dayer, at the Betsey Trotwood in Clerkenwell.

It’s a brilliant line-up, with surprise guests still to be announced. The action starts at 2pm on Saturday 12th December and goes on until late, and then you’ve got all of Sunday to recover. Tickets are only £15 plus booking fee, which for eight or more bands is ridiculously good value. Capacity is limited though, so book quickly while you can.

Songs for swinging spectres

“Four more days ’til Hallowe’en, Silver Shamrock!”.

And four more days ’til Cigarette Burns Cinema’s All Hallows’ Eve All-Nighter at the Regent Street Cinema.

You’ve got your tickets and your costume, right?

Good. “But what,” we hear you tremulously murmur “are Those Unfortunates going to be playing, apart from a selection of their own songs that we love so much?”.

We’re glad you asked. In no particular order, you’ll be treated to:

Tell The World We’re Not In by The Pedlars

…as featured over the opening titles of 1970 Judy Geeson starring incestuous twin shocker Goodbye Gemini.

Scream and Scream Again by Amen Corner

…as featured in, er, Scream and Scream Again, the bonkers 1968 Christopher Lee/Vincent Price acid bath sci-fi horror vehicle.

Alligator Man by Stoneground

…as featured in Dracula A.D. 1972, in which Christopher Lee’s vampire hits swinging London’s King’s Road with cheesy results.

The Devil Rides Out by Icarus

…as NOT featured in the excellent film based on the Dennis Wheatley book of the same name . Though apparently the band were invited to the premiere, which was nice of them.

Monsters Rule OK by The Viewers

…from 1980’s likable, silly, cheapo Brit horror portmanteau The Monster Club.

And maybe a surprise if you’re very, very bad.

See you there.

Three come along at once

You know what it’s like, you wait ages for an update and then…

So firstly, we’re thrilled to announce that we’ll be making our live radio debut on the deXter Bentley Hello GoodBye show on Resonance 104.4 FM.

We’re on air from midday on Saturday 14th November; if you don’t live in London, or you don’t have an old wireless set, you can tune in online at https://www.resonancefm.com

Secondly, we’re very pleased to tell you that we’ll be playing at Big Pink Cake’s Christmas All-Dayer on Saturday 12th December, at the Betsey Trotwood, in Clerkenwell, in That London.

There’s a great line up, including The Felt Tips and Catenary Wires, tickets for the whole day-long shebang cost only £15, so you should absolutely, definitely be there. Tickets available HERE– there are only 47 left at time of writing so book now!

Thirdly, we’re just putting the finishing touches to our forthcoming EP, ‘Those Unfortunates We Are’, and it’ll be available with the next edition of our bandzine, ‘Like London Buses’. That’s a bit of the artwork at the top of this post. More details coming very soon…

And just in case you’ve forgotten, we’ll be appearing this Hallowe’en Night at Cigarette Burns Cinema’s monster all-nighter at Regent Street Cinema, performing our horrific cover versions of some Brit-horror tunes. Tickets are still available here, if you’re quick…

Toast Arthur Lowe’s birthday with his signature cocktail

The inimitable Arthur Lowe was born on the 22nd September 1915, and if he was still with us, he’d be one hundred years old today.

Best known these days for playing the irrascible Captain Mainwaring in BBC sitcom Dad’s Army, he also quietly stole scenes in cult British films like Spike Milligan’s surreal, post-apocalypic The Bed-Sitting Room’ and appeared as multiple characters in Lindsay Anderson’s Mick Travis trilogy, (‘If…’, ‘O Lucky Man!’ and ‘Britannia Hospital’), alongside Malcolm McDowell.

When he wasn’t performing, Lowe liked to entertain aboard his steam yacht Amazon. Behind a wooden bar, with a semi-circle cut out to accomodate his ample belly, he combined his love of boats and booze by mixing his own signature cocktail- ‘The Gin Amazon’.
Here’s the recipe so that you can mix one yourself:

Take a large tumbler and add a few large ice cubes. Pour in a generous measure of gin, top up with dry ginger ale, and add a single slice of cucumber.

Consume while listening to our tribute single. Happy Birthday Arthur!

Bow legged, thick heads; the dregs of imitation